Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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