dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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