Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
