Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
