We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
