with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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