i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
