What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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