the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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