i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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