I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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