had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
