Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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