life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
