Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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