apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
