i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
