This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
