Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
