it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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