the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
