great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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