I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
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new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
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There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize