my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
