so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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