My pussy is not your playground.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
