peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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