his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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