It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
