Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
