I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The adults are the big ones right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize