Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Shame - the story of my life.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
