Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
