Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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