Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize