Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
