Come see our sink grown plant.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
