just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
