have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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