You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
