Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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