words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
