Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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