You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
