Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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