I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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