had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
