she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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