I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
