haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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