one two three fourrrrnication!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
