Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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