I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
