you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it's like iHOP with fire
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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