i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
