This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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