How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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