If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
