is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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