And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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