it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am naked and annoyed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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