I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
