glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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