the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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