i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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