I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Who died my cat blue again?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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