You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I want to be your penis for a week.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
