Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
