Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
