u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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